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Weekly Waggle - Masters Recap
Editor’s Note: Be sure to follow Dan Daly's spontaneous and entertaining comments on and Twitter@_dandaly

Wow…was the last two hours of that tournament any good? 

My tweet at the turn, “My money is on Adam Scott in a playoff over El Pato.”  I know, I also picked Tiger to win so I can only take partial credit.

Truth be told, Adam Scott should have run away with this thing. Problem is it took the dude 71 holes (and 15 years) before he learned how to putt. For a guy that lost the British Open largely due to his putter and almost took himself out of contention this week for the same reason, those were two of the most impressive putts I have seen in a long time. Between this year’s Masters and last year’s British Open, the guy should easily have two majors by now, if not a handful more. If he learns how to use that broom stick he might start winning a few majors a year.  Of course this means the anchor putter debate is going to blow up even more in the weeks to come. 

Look, I couldn’t be happier for Adam Scott, love everything about the guy and to be honest the poor guy doesn’t have much else going for him. I’m sure this win will finally give him some much needed self-confidence and who knows, he might finally be able to get a chick to sleep with him, too?

Text from Steve Williams to Tiger immediately following the playoff – Suck it! I now have more majors than you since you fired me asshole. #14Majorsearch     

Gotta love El Pato though; the guy only shows up in the majors, burns heaters and literally doesn’t back down to anyone…huge stones. In all seriousness though, what the hell does he do the other 48 weeks of the year?  Also, can someone please explain to me how Angel Cabrera, who has won two majors in America, lives in Houston, yells at the gallery in English, talks to Adam Scott in English and plays regularly in America, still needs a translator in post round interviews?  And yet a 14-year-old Chinese kid can speak fluent English in his interviews? 

Watching Snedeker meltdown on the back nine Sunday was extremely painful.  The guy is gold.  He plays fast, dresses well and will win The Masters sooner than later.  I’m still a big fan.

Valiant effort by Day, guy is solid and will win a major at some point, his game is too good.    
Obviously the two biggest stories from the week (other than the winner) were the rulings for Tiger and Guan. 

As for Tiger, that was one of the worst breaks I can ever remember seeing in a golf tournament.  He should have had a tap in birdie to take the outright lead. As well as he was playing at the time and where he finished, there is zero question he would have won this week in my opinion.  However, there was no way he was recovering from everything that happened following that shot and what was eventually a four stroke penalty on a perfectly hit golf shot. Instead, one of the craziest sequence of events I have ever seen followed over the next 18 hours, and quite frankly sucked all the air out of the weekend which should have been amazing.  The penalty itself has been covered ad nauseam at this point so I won’t go into it any further, but I do have several opinions.  First, I thought he should have withdrawn Saturday morning, and not because “he cheated” but because even if he had have come back to win, it would have forever had an asterisk by it and completely tainted his chase of 19 majors.  Second, the tour pros and twitter nerds claiming he should have DQ’d himself because of the “old rule” are ridiculous.  The new rule is in place for a reason; getting DQ’d in a golf tournament after the fact is probably the dumbest rule in all of sports and they finally fixed it…move on.  Finally, this is all on the rules committee, how in the hell did you let this happen?  You reviewed it twice, never asked him about it after the round and let him sign his scorecard and only AFTER his interview you decided it was a rules violation?  Are you effing kidding me? 

To quote Billy Madison, “what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Finally, Tiger, you really need to know the rules better, this is your second incorrect drop of the year (Abu Dhabi), how is that even possible? 

Just out of curiosity was the person that called into to the rules committee to inform them of Tiger’s violation named E. Nordegren by chance?

And then there was this story that Yahoo! ran on Sunday morning that calls the whole thing into question. 

Anyway, as I said from the beginning of the year, he is going to win the US Open. 

As for Tianlang Guan, I was pulling for the kid and think what he did was one of the most amazing accomplishments I have ever seen in sports.  My initial reaction when I heard about the slow play penalty on him was, “what a chicken shit move by the PGA” to use the 14-year-old as an example for all the slow play complaints.  Then I heard that he was warned three different times and according to Gary Williams (Morning Drive) who watched him in person, the kid is a human rain delay.  Look, the last thing we need is more slow players in golf.  I applaud the Masters for inviting him and for sending a message to the world….If you want to play golf here, SPEED UP.       

Regarding everything else that happened this week. 

Can someone please find me an 8-year-old that can drive, chip, and putt so I can borrow him (or her), enter them in the Drive, Chip and Putt competition and be their guardian next year at Augusta?  

Frankly I’m a little surprised Rory didn’t win the par 3 contest after Caroline Wozniacki (his girlfriend and caddy for the day) giggled and said she gave Rory a "special prize" before the round during her interview. 
To the people yelling “Rocket Ballz-ier” every time Jason Day hit a shot this week: I really hope you know how stupid you sounded, and I hope you were kicked out of the tournament and permanently banned from Augusta. 
Nice cargo pants on Sunday Bernard Langer.  Nice outfits Adidas. Horrible. 

Sergio Garcia, one year ago this week: “I have run out of options. I'm not good enough for the majors. I will try to be second or third.”  Well, at least he was honest, guy is a complete head case. 
When Dustin Johnson briefly took the lead on Friday all I could think about was Paulina Gretzky showing up on Instagram wearing nothing but the green jacket.  Damn you DJ.   
Freddie…oh Freddie.  Thanks for the run; it was fun to watch while it lasted.

Congratulations to Rickie Fowler, he actually made it through the entire week without doing a single interview with his hat on backwards.  As I suspected, Billy Payne obviously had a talk with him.  If that guy could stop making doubles and triples all over the place, he might actually win a golf tournament here and there.     

I’ve talked to several people that were at Augusta this year and to a man, they each told me that Bubba’s shot on 10 last year (once you see it in person) is in the top three most amazing/impressive shot ever hit considering all of the circumstances. 

Speaking of Bubba, he wouldn’t reveal his Champions Dinner menu like it was some big crazy menu…ended up being grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, corn and macaroni & cheese! Wow, how exciting.  That’s boring for a Tuesday night dinner at my house, much less the Champions dinner at The Masters.  Nick Faldo called it a Happy Meal, I agree. 

Working in conjunction with the National Science Teachers Association and Math Solutions, the Mickelson ExxonMobil Teachers Academy proudly presents the following match problem:
If FIGJAM wins the Masters with two drivers and missed the cut at the US Open with zero drivers, why does FIGJAM play the 2013 Masters with zero drivers and three 3-woods?  Hey, at least you beat the 14-year-old by three shots. 

Until Next Week,
Dan Daly

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