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The Weekly Waggle - Off the Rough

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Editor’s Note: Be sure to check back weekly for Dan Daly's spontaneous and entertaining comments on the Tour and follow him on Twitter @weeklywaggle.

Before I get to golf; can we please stop this ridiculous "2012 US Basketball Team could hang with or even beat the 1992 Dream Team" conversation? If you believe that, you probably also believe that Jennifer Lopez actually drives a FIAT convertible in real life too.

The Feherty finale takes place on Monday July 30 at 10:00 p.m. ET with John Daly on The Golf Channel. Yes Please!

The following night at 8:00 p.m. ET on TGC is the 2000 PGA Championship replay at Valhalla between Tiger and Bob May. Hands down, top 3 Sunday's in golf in the last 25 years.

At the half-way point of the Canadian Open (there was your first clue) there was a tie for the lead between Scott Piercy and William McGirt. What happened in the tournament after Friday…only Scott Piercy and William McGirt's families could tell you. So we are going to change it up a little this week.

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Having played golf my entire life all over the country at both public and private golf courses with everyone from scratch golfers to guys that simply couldn't break a hundred if you gave them a month with Butch Harmon; there are some things that seriously need to be addressed about the game of golf.

This is just one humble man's opinion.

I believe…

Blue Jeans and jorts (aka blue jean shorts) should not be allowed within 500 yards of a golf course…as a player or a spectator. Sorry Lubbock Country Club.

Golf rounds should be played at the following pace…single (2:00), twosome (2:30), threesome (3:00), foursome (3:30), fivesome (4:00). If you need to be out of the house longer because don't want to go home to your wife and kids that badly, fine, sit in 19th hole for an hour and drink a beer.

If you choose to walk, you have to be able to break 80. If you choose to use a pull cart, you have to be 80.

If you play golf for money you should be required to carry a GHIN handicap. Its $35/year…you can afford it. Here's a newsflash, "I usually shoot about 12 over when I play so I am probably about a 12 handicap" is not a handicap and actually makes you about an 8 handicap on most courses.

If you play for money you should be required to show up with at least ten times the base bet in cash…or a checkbook.

An ATM machine should be on the grounds at every golf course in America….public or private.

If you need a stroke on a par three or more than 1 stroke on any hole then you need to find a different sport to play, I don't care what the handicap systems says.

If you spend more than 5 seconds trying to retrieve a ball in the water then you need to buy cheaper golf balls.

If you carry a ball retriever in your golf bag it should count against you for the 14 club rule.

If you hit a tree, a rock, in the rough or in a bunker and get a bad lie you didn't get a "bad break"…you hit a bad shot. Big difference!

Any amateur that reads a putt over 20 feet for more than 3 seconds should be assessed a two-stroke penalty for slow play. The PGA Tour average to make a putt from 25 feet is 10%...so I'm pretty sure your odds are about 1% at best. It's called lag putting.

All PGA Tour events should be televised on The Golf Channel Thursday/Friday and CBS Saturday/Sunday. With one exception…the U.S. Open on NBC of course.

Green fees on public courses and guest fees on private courses should be reduced when playing aerated greens.

A collared shirt should be worn at all times on a golf course.

Fowler often uses the “Real men wear pink” outfit on the golf course..
Fowler often uses the “Real men wear pink” outfit on the golf course. (Getty Images)

If you yell, "YOU THA MAN!" or "GET IN THE HOLE!" at a PGA Tour event you should be kicked out immediately with no refund.

Overused phrases like "A little chicken left on the bone" need to be banned from golf courses.

You are no longer allowed to wear Tiger Woods shirts, hats, shoes, etc. unless you have slept with at least 18 different women. Or, if you are a woman that has slept with Tiger.

If you have any collegiate gear on or in your golf bag, or on your outfit itself you are required to have a degree from that university. Or at least failed out of it.

And finally…

If you dress up like Rickie Fowler from head-to-toe to go to a golf course and you are over the age of 15 you are a complete loser and need to seek professional help immediately.

Until Next Week,
Dan Daly

  
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