2014 PGA Tour Preview
February 9, 2014
By Dan Daly
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Welcome back to the Weekly Waggle 2014 edition. I will be with you for the next 30 weeks breaking down everything relevant and more likely irrelevant on and off the course on the PGA Tour.
The 2014 PGA Tour season may have officially started back in September (still the dumbest idea they have ever had) but let’s be honest; was anyone really paying attention until football season was over? I didn’t think so. As far as I’m concerned the 2014 season officially kicked off this weekend in Pebble Beach.
Here are my 18 guaranteed predictions for the “official” 2014 season:
18. Rickie Fowler will continue to dress like Lady Gaga threw up on Justin Bieber, will end the year 18 Majors behind Jack Nicklaus and with as many 2014 PGA Tour wins as me. Yet somehow people will continue to idolize him and dress like him. It will remain the single biggest mystery in golf to me.
17. On that note, Jordan Speith will end the 2014 season with more career PGA Tour wins than Sam Sneed and break Jack Nicklaus’s record with 20 Majors. While I know it’s not mathematically possible I just get the feeling he will find a way. This kid is stupid good at golf.
16. Jim Furyk will blow at least one golf tournament this year. Actually…make that two. With zero wins. Ok, ok, so I copied and pasted that one from last year but you never walk away from the table when you're on a heater.
15. Henrik Stenson will wake up one day in 2014 and remember that he is Henrik Stenson. He won’t quite fall off the face of the earth like he did five years ago but there is a 0.0% chance he continues the way he ended 2013.
14. The entire 2014 Ryder Cup will come down to one person, and he won’t hit a single shot for either side. If Davis Love III is within three time zones of Scotland the US has no chance at all. I’m still not convinced he didn’t take over coaching for Auburn the second half of the college football National Championship game.
13. Phil FIGJAM Mickelson will
do something extremely stupid be himself and lose a tournament as a result. What’s that? Oh, it already happened in 2014? The first tournament of the year he played in? I’m shocked! Déjà Phil
Ok, how about this…Phil FIGJAM Mickelson will
do something extremely stupid be himself and lose a Major as a result. Specifically, the US Open, but more on that later.
12. At some point this year, it will come out that Miguel Angel Jiménez is the biological father of JFF (Johnny F'ing Football). It is the only logical explanation I can come up with on how an Aggie can be that cool.
11. There will be a more important shot hit this year on Tour, in fact, there will be plenty; but no one will hit a more impressive shot than the one Charl Schwartzel hit at the Volvo Golf Champions in January. Money Shot!
10. On the 41 year anniversary of Johnny Miller’s 63 in 1973 I’m calling for 41 references by my man over the course of four days for his farewell broadcast. I know this much, there will be tears shed when they sign off, probably by me but definitely by Johnny Miller. Just thinking about FOX trying to cover the US Open makes me want to cry.
9. Adam Scott will end the year better at golf than you, with more money than you, having had sex with more women than you, own a bigger plane than you and your wife will find him better looking than you.
8. Matt Kuchar will end the year with the title Happiest Player to Never Win a Major and Brandt Snedeker will end the year with the title Coolest American Born Player to Never Win a Major.
7. Lee Westwood will be in the final group of at least one major this year. Lee Westwood will lose that major; but his Twitter meltdown the following week will be awesome.
6. Dustin Johnson and Paulina Gretzky will make a honeymoon sex tape that TMZ will get a hold of and release to the general public editing out all the parts that show Dustin Johnson. Look, a guy can dream can’t he?
5. The Masters – Tiger and Rory will separate themselves by Saturday afternoon essentially making this a two-man race. After a furious run of birdies by Rory to take a one shot lead through 14 holes Tiger will get redemption from last year by holing out his wedge shot on 15 for an Eagle to take back the lead and hold on to it down the stretch beating Rory in one of the more memorable Masters of all-time.
4. PGA Championship – After finally recovering from an 18-month toothache, Rory McIlroy will finally remember how to close out a tournament again and win his third career major at Valhalla GC. Sadly Bob May will not finish second.
3. US Open – After a Phil FIGJAM Mickelson meltdown on Sunday (hole 14 to be specific) Jason Dufner will win the 2014 US Open at Pinehurst #2 by making a record setting 72 straight pars.
Speaking of the Dufner’s - This video is incredibly boring with the exception of Amanda Dufner in a tight workout outfit which is incredibly entertaining. Ball Striker's Wife
2. British Open - Tiger and Sergio will battle it out in the final group, with Tiger defending his title at Hoylake for his second major of the year. Immediately after he taps in for par on 18 to seal the win, he will turn to the camera and say, “I’M THE BEST GOLFER IN THE GAME. WHEN YOU TRY ME WITH A SORRY GOLFER LIKE SERGIO, THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO GET. DON’T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT ME SERGIO! DON’T OPEN YOUR MOUTH ABOUT THE BEST OR I AM GOING TO SHUT IT FOR YOU REAL QUICK!”
Later in his post round press conference he will follow it up with "I was making sure everybody knew Sergio was a mediocre golfer. Mediocre. And when you try to beat the best golfer in the game with a mediocre golfer, that's what happens."
And yes, I realize I picked Tiger to win two majors this year, and yes I realize most people have written him off, but just keep in mind Tiger Woods turned 38 at the end of December. He has 14 majors in 64 starts as pro. Jack Nicklaus entering his age 38 season…14 majors in 64 starts as pro.
1. John Patrick Daly will win an official PGA Tour event in 2014.
Until Next Week,
If you like what you read, hate what you read, or just want to send me some spam you can reach and follow me at @_DanDaly on Twitter.